Here are some questions that others have asked Dr. Burkham:
(questions 61 - 65 of 126 total)
<<< Previous Page
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Next Page >>>
Friday, August 24, 2007
Toni S. writes:
I am finishing up therapy soon. I want to let my therapist know how meaningful he (and his help) was to me. But I don't want him to think I am just being flattering. I owe him so much. What is the best way to put this? As a therapist yourself, what is the best and most meaningful thing you could hear from your clients when they are finishing up?
Dear Toni: What a great question you have asked and a very good problem you have! It is great that you have had such a positive, life-changing experience with therapy. I think that if you are as honest as possible and as specific as possible, your words will have the right impact. Personally, I really appreciate hearing how much I have helped my clients and I find it helpful to know specifically what they thought was the most helpful part of therapy. Was it an issue that they worked on that I provided a new way of looking at? Was it some quality of our relationship? So, all you have to do is be honest and specific--it will most likely be a shot in the arm for your therapist. All the best!
Dr. Rob Burkham
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Jenny writes:
I was going to therapy for a while and I stopped. I've always been good at avoiding my issues without dealing with them...but they always resurfaced. I went to therapy and it helped a great deal, but I'm still confused between the difference of avoiding something and feeling better and actually having thoroughly worked through something and being ok. Where does that line draw? Thank you!!!
Dear Jenny: Great question! You seem to see therapy as resulting in one of two outcomes:
- You avoid working through your issues but you feel better or
- You work through you issues and never need help again.
I see things a bit differently. I think therapy can help you move forward in dealing with your issues and helping you to be more 'differentiated' or mature. This helps you to handle things better in your life and you feel better. However, new challenges come up in your life and you realize you are not completely finished working on yourself. But, as I see it, no one is ever finished working on themselves! So, you return to therapy, do some more work, and get to a higher level of maturity and you feel better. Then the process begins again. I think this is a healthy way that people can make progress using multiple 'episodes' of therapy.
So, I encourage you to keep going and work on getting to the next level. The process of maturity is never done! All the best!
Dr. Rob Burkham
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Janet writes:
Hello,
I read your book and it was riveting for me. I understand so much more and will make better choices in my next therapist. I have had a Dr. Amen evaluation and the recommendation is medication. I come from a history of over/self medicating. All anti-depressants that were tried for a 6 year period after my husband died combined to add 52 pounds, make me physically ill and compromise my immune system. I have worked hard to be off all medications in my life. Both my former therapist who has closed her practice and this group doing the evaluation (which my former therapist recommended I participate in) are telling me it would be 'inhumane' to not give the medications a chance. I am very frustrated at this point. I have been working so hard to be well and not be medicated that I feel rather let down by this advice. Especially given my former therapist and I have had this discussion and felt there were so many other options, which we worked with for 2 years. This feels like too neat of a wrap up now that she has left.
I do not have people in place that I trust or feel I can lean on to guide me through such a difficult decision. I feel set up. Don’t take the drugs and never get well. Take the drugs and compromise my own deep-set feelings about why I shouldn’t and the history that goes with that.
Your book strongly recommends being careful of a therapist imposing their way on you. I also realize that are seeking to help me and this is their recommendation. I am just terrified of drugs in my system again. Has this work been for nothing if the ultimate answer is medication? Is this really the only answer to PTSD, and anxiety and the depression that goes with it?
I am confused and frightened and would appreciate any thought you might have.
Thank you Janet
Dear Janet: Thanks for the great review of my book--I hope it does guide you to a more helpful therapist in the future! Now, to your question about medication. I do indeed recommend being wary of professionals imposing their will on you. There are many options other than medication for depression, anxiety and PTSD and you and your previous therapist worked on that basis for two years with some good results. I would recommend finding another therapist to keep working without the medication. If you are making progress and have a good connection with your therapist, then you don't need the medications--and if you get stuck, then perhaps reconsider medication. Remember, you are in charge of your own treatment! All the best!
Dr. Rob Burkham
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Jin writes:
I have been in therapy for now 2 years and previously to that on and off. I have borderline personality and D.I.D, PTSD,Anciety and depression. I have to give a review on how far I think I have come in therapy and what changes are helpful to us, thing is I am blank about thinking of this and not sure what is needed from me.Could you please assist. Also is it normal to think I would die without my therapist. Thanks
Dear Jin: It sounds like you have taken the difficult step of working on your quite formidable problems. So, congratulations on hanging in there! The review that you are supposed to give may be quite frightening to you because it sounds like you are wondering what your therapist wants to hear, not what you really think. And you may be quite confused about whether or not you have made progress--that's not uncommon for people with your list of diagnoses. So, my advice would be this: be honest and don't be too afraid to be confused.
Your question about thinking you would die without your therapist: It's not very common for clients in general but not too unusual for those with your problems. It's an important feeling to share and work through with your therapist.
Best of luck!
Dr. Rob Burkham
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Susan writes:
I have gone to several therapist and have a difficulty doing my part. I started with a new therapist and told her my problem, and I've made a huge difference with her. She says our work is done, but I dont know how to express to her that there is a lot left unsaid on my part. Also I'm not being completely truthful with her in the sense of, she asks if I have anything I want to talk about, I say no, when she asks how I feel about something or in general, I am not completely honest and open. I know I come off that I am probably ready to stop, but I know I'm not. What should I do if I'm not able to expess this?
Dear Susan: Well, if you can't express this to your therapist, you won't get much more out of therapy! It's pretty clear that you have more work to do to be the best you can and the only way I know to get there is to put your cards on the table with your therapist. Tell her clearly that you're not done! It will be very scary to do so but the rewards can be great!
Dr. Rob Burkham
(questions 61 - 65 of 126 total)
<<< Previous Page
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Next Page >>>
