Here are some questions that others have asked Dr. Burkham:
(questions 6 - 10 of 126 total)
<<< Previous Page
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Next Page >>>
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Thankful writes:
This is not a chat room so you may likely choose not to print this. I read Poss's question and your answer and feel such compassion for her. I do not drink or self-harm physically but I do beat myself up psychologically and I identified strongly with her. After 2+ years of counseling, every session (twice a week) is a struggle. I have told myself so many times that if I cannot do anything else, I WILL KEEP GOING (I quit once), and that if I will do that, I will get better in time. True therapy is some of the hardest work in the world; it is also, I believe, some of the most worthwhile. Hang in there, Poss. Hold onto the image of yourself healthy and happy down the road. And know there are many others out here trying to do the same thing you are trying to do. Dr. B, thank you for this site and for your book; they are making a difference. I have searched long and hard for info to help the therapy client; this is some of the best I have found.
Dear Thankful: I'm thankful for your encouraging words to Poss and to all therapy clients. And thanks for your kind words about my book and my site. All the best!
Dr. Rob Burkham
Monday, February 18, 2008
Poss writes:
Hi,
This is a great site by the way. I have a question regarding what I disclosed in therapy today. I suffer from depression and anxiety, self harm, an eating disorder etc. I've been seeing my current therapist for just over a year, I don't have to pay, it's under the health system. Sometimes I drink before therapy to help me relax and talk and I think today maybe I had drunk too much and went too far with my honesty. My therapist knows that I self-harm but today I said that I sometimes feel suicidal, about what method I would use to kill myself if I did, about how I have surreal moments when I'm in a rage and I slash my arms and am out of control and how I looked at knives in the supermaket once considering which would be best to hurt or kill myself. All of this is true. My therapist said she was worried about me and asked if she could call my husband to ask him to stay home with me, I said no. I said I'd be okay and that I feel like a burden to my husband. So I left and I cried and I self-harmed alot. Now I just feel like an idiot. I feel like my therapist will think I'm exaggerating or making stuff up and I wasn't. I feel I shouldn't have been that honest. I'm scared what she might do with what I told her. She has supervision and I know she will tell her supervisor what I told her. My question is, should I have kept some of that stuff to myself incase she doesn't want to work with me anymore because I seem like a risk? I'm scared of telling her stuff and losing control over who knows what about me, but at the same time I desperately need help.
Thanks,
Poss
Dear Poss: You've got alot to deal with! I'll try to take one thing at a time. First, you brought up drinking before therapy to help you relax and open up. This is not a good idea! You need all your wits about you to handle yourself in therapy in a way that will be helpful to you. Disclosing more than you want because you're uninhibited by alcohol is not going to be helpful in the long run. Second, when you talk about your self-harming and suicidal thoughts and urges, your therapist gets very nervous as most therapists do. It seems that she wanted to have your husband stay with you so that you would be safe and yet not have to go to a hospital. This may be a good option for you at times. My guess is your therapist will try to figure out ways to keep you safe but she may have no other choice than having you go to the hospital. This may not be a bad thing for you but I assume you're not thrilled with the idea.
My suggestions are these:
- Don't drink before therapy and don't drink excessively at other times--you need all your faculties to get better!
- Work openly and honestly with your therapist to find a way to not harm yourself. Try to get on the side of taking care of yourself rather than harming yourself.
- Tell your therapist you are afraid of being honest with her about your self-destructive impulses but you need her help to overcome them.
You have quite a struggle ahead of you. I wish you all the success in your therapy.
Dr. Rob Burkham
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Faye writes:
I suffer from stress and anxiety. At times this can be very crippling as when I'm stressing or I'm anxious, I have buttflies in my stomach...I have a runny bowel and I become sleepy to the point where I cannot keep my eyes open. I have difficulty coping when this happens in a work day. I'm so scared of this as I have no control of it...it controls me...please can you help me with what I can do to cope with this. I'm in counselling and have been working on this for more than 2 years now. I have been tested by the medical doctor for just about everything medically and they can't find anything...I'm also tired most of the time...when I wake up in the morning [constantly]...please help.
Dear Faye: With clients who primarily suffer from chronic anxiety, I find that treatment needs to focus on three areas to help the client gain some control over the fear:
- Relaxation training. I use a CD on which I recorded a relaxation exercise on it, 25 minutes in length, which I ask my clients to practice daily in the privacy of their own home for several weeks. This teaches you what it feels like to be deeply relaxed and this skill can be used to combat anxiety as it comes up in daily life.
- Cognitive therapy. This means working carefully and somewhat systematically on changing the automatic thoughts you have which cause your anxiety. You need to write down and study the thoughts that make you anxious and work on replacing those with more calming, reassuring thoughts. Your therapist should be able to guide you in using some of the many techniques available to accomplish this.
- Interpersonal therapy. This means working on changing the way you relate to others which may be contributing to the anxiety. Often people who are anxious have a very difficult time being assertive with the important others in their life and this contributes to feelings of inferiority and powerlessness which serve to fuel their anxiety.
If your therapist is not working with you in a focused way on these three elements, your therapy may not work very well. If your therapist is not working with you in at least some of these ways, I would look for another who might do so. All the best!
Dr. Rob Burkham
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Karra writes:
I left a therapist about 4 months ago that I had seen off and on for a few sessions occasionally (and had a good relationship with) by leaving a voicemail to cancel the appt. and just never went back. I now feel I owe her an explanation out of courtesy because of the work we did together, although fairly brief. But, I wonder if it's any use going back or sending a note to explain, apologize for the way I left it, or if I even owe her an apology/explanation, or would she even care? Or remember? What is your opinion please? This has been on my mind for a few weeks. We were into only 3rd session of a new round of therapy, but I had seen her before. I don't think I need any more therapy at this time but feel like it's unfinished somehow. Thank you for this very informative site.
Dear Karra: I think it would be a good idea to send your therapist a letter explaining your departure from therapy, making any apology you think is necessary, thanking her for the help she did provide, and saying why you think you don't need professional help at this point. As a therapist, I always appreciate getting these letters, emails, or phone messages because it helps me understand why a client left and what it was that I might have said or done that was truly helpful. All the best!
Dr. Rob Burkham
Friday, February 08, 2008
Sue writes:
Thanks for your answer which is helpful. Now I have another question. How important of an aspect of therapy is it for the client to be angry with the therapist? Is that necessary and very much a part of the process? Is it a part of my efforts, like a teenager, to become independent from my counselor? Is it a good sign, on some level, when I can feel angry with her and express it? It is very hard for me to believe this can be healthy and not negative, but I sense that it may be appropriate and necessary. Thank you. I have gotten a lot of helpful input from reading these questions and answers.
Dear Sue: I'm glad my first answer was helpful! In answer to this question, I think it is important in some therapies for the client to get angry with their therapist, bring this up in therapy in a responsible, I'm-open-to-working-on-this way and for the two of them to work this out as two adults. Many clients have had very painful experiences with anger--they've learned that it leads to broken relationships and to abuse--but it doesn't have to. It can lead to greater respect and understanding of differences. This can happen with a willing client and a mature therapist. Good luck!
Dr. Rob Burkham
(questions 6 - 10 of 126 total)
<<< Previous Page
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Next Page >>>
