Dr. Rob Burkham

Friday, October 19, 2007
Josie writes:
Im just beggining therapy and I'm not quite sure what to do. This sounds strange I know. Currently in my life, things are going good, nothing really to complain about, but it's things from my childhood and early adult hood that keep coming to haunt me. I'm 30 years old and I've kept a lot to myself and haven't dealt with issues throughout my whole life. Is it ok to want to start from the beggining and discuss all the events that bothered me as a child up to the present. I feel I was so numb to certain things, that I never expressed them or even felt them because I was avoiding them. I'm hope I'm making sense. Thanks in advance.

Dear Josie:  I think starting from the beginning and telling your story to an empathetic, wise therapist is a great idea.  You will gain alot of insight simply by hearing yourself tell your story, feeling the feelings, and getting helpful feedback from your therapist.  You can become a great deal more at peace with yourself.  Best of everything!

Dr. Rob Burkham

Thursday, October 18, 2007
susan writes:
Dr. Burkham, I have been going to therapy for 6 months now. I am in love with him. I have tried everything to make it go away but it won't. I don't want to tell him because I don't want to be embarrassed or have him say somthing that would hurt me even more. I probably should have gone to a female anyways. I will miss him but I think it's best for me to leave at this point so these feelings will eventually go away. Do you think this is for the best or do you think I am making a mistake??

Dear Susan:  I think it's a very good idea to find a new therapist as soon as you can.  It might be best to let your therapist know why you are terminating (via letter or email if it's too hard to do it in person) but not necessary.  Your 'love' for your therapist will get in the way of making any real progress which is, after all, the purpose of therapy!  I think you've made a very good decision.

Dr. Rob Burkham

Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Patrick writes:
Hi Dr. Burkham. I am currently in therapy and the main reason that I am going now is to make sure I stay on the right track (I've had some alcohol abuse issues in the past). One of the things that he asked me to d which is different from the first person I went to is to have something specific to focus on - my other therapist would always ask lots of questions to help me get deeper into issues and it is very strange for me to be doing (almost) all of the talking. I am OK with talking once we gete started, so I guess I am looking for a way to 'start' a session - if that makes sense. Thanks

Dear Patrick:  Congratulations for taking the initiative to get some help to 'stay on the right track'--this usually works better than waiting until the train is derailed!  It sounds to me like your new therapist wants you to take more responsibility for your treatment.  If I were you, I would take some time to think through and write down what you need to work on to stay on the right track and bring your ideas into the next session.  And, to put in a shameless plug for my book, reading The Therapy Triangle could help you clarify what you need to work on to become a healthier, more mature person.  Best of luck!

Dr. Rob Burkham

Friday, October 05, 2007
michele writes:
i hope its ok for me to ask another question. Is it ok for me to use my perceptions in therapy being that i am the client. In my last session i picked up on something in the therapist, she didnt give me any clues, nothing, i just picked this thing up and said about it, it was as if it just poured out of my mouth. I dont know how i knew as i know nothing about her, but my perception was right, when i said what i said she looked shocked then she was near to tears, she said My God you are so perceptive, i felt awful as i didnt mean for myself to pick up on her, she told me its a gift and wasnt angry, but i am afraid to go back. My perception has been with me since childhood but because of it i have problems with relationships, someone once said to me that its as if i look into their eyes to reach their souls and can see what they are feeling, this kind of creeped me out. I grew up being told i was evil and i wonder if being as perceptive as i am is part of the reason why. What do i do if i am in therapy and this sort of thing happenes again, i hope this doesnt seem to muddled what i have written but its a bit hard to explain. thank you Michelle

Dear Michele:

It does sound like you have a special ability to perceive what others are thinking and feeling.  This doesn't make you evil, just perceptive.  Your perceptions and intuitions can be used for good--to help others.  I would recommend that you go back to your therapist to discuss this.  She should be able to help guide you to to best use of your 'gift'.  If you don't talk about it with her, you will miss an opportunity to make the most of your special ability.  All the best!

Dr. Rob Burkham

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